Another Title Challenge Bites The Dust

Firstly, a huge congratulations to Retador who were a picture of consistency for majority of the season. It could be said that the pulling out of St Andrews at an untimely manner meant that the initiative was handed to Retador in the title race. However, we cannot take away the fact that they were arguably the best footballing side this season. Well played boys. 

Back to us, with the gaffer himself out of action and a whole host of players missing due to the Ramadan period, the "title deciding game" was always going to be an uphill struggle. 

The scoreline according to various sources could have been so very different with us scoring early on. And then missing chances to double our lead. 

Unfortunately, our lengthy absence from the pitch told as we contrived to shoot ourselves in the foot and allowed our opponents a foothold in the game with our ill advised concessions at the back. 

In the end, failure to take our chances in front of the Retador goal meant we were on the receiving end of a 1-3 defeat. Perhaps it could have been so very different. 

But then again, perhaps we will live on the moon someday. Another season of failure at the finishing line. We will lick our wounds and another title shot come next season will hang in the balance for now. 

Cheers Retador and to all them teams for Season 11 Saturday Div 1.

Another Title Race Ends in Tears

Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3 St Andrews 4

(Alvin x2, Ubai)

The high of a comeback victory against Intense last weekend saw us daring to dream of a miraculous comeback in this season's title race. 

Yet we failed so miserably in replicating that this weekend as we went down 0-3 by the hour mark. Our play was as clueless as it could get and the entire side was in absolute shambles. St Andrews capitalised well on our mistakes and were undoubtedly the better side. 

Yet the hour mark changed things and all of a sudden we were playing the football that we knew we could play. Through balls and incisive passing became our lethal weapon with our winger Alvinaldo living up to his name with 2 fine ass finishes. The 2nd was a particularly astonishing strike from hardly any angle. 

The fightback was on and it was completed when our midfield maestro curled a freekick home from the edge of the box to make it 3-3 with 3 minutes to go. 

Needing all 3 points in order to stay in the title race, we pushed men forward and were given a Beckham vs Greece chance in the final minute. We failed to replicate the end result and with chaos reigning... Yet another mistake at the back resulted in Firdaus who was a torn all afternoon finish with aplomb. 

3-4 in an exhilarating contest that more or less sums up our season. The football that we know how to play allows us to compete with any of the sides in this division, yet our naive nature and tendency to resort to the English style leaves us fighting hard to shed the tag of perennial underachievers yet again. 

Thank you for the clash St Andrews and to the rest of the contesting teams, we will continue to maintain the integrity of this sexciting title race by playing our best in our remaining games. 

May the best team emerge triumphant. Cheers. 

At The Death

First Toa Payoh Sec, 1500 Hrs

Intense 1 YSOSRS 2 

(Dinie x1, AhCool x1)

It was very much deja vu today. 5 minutes into the game and with players playing out of position, we conceded the 1st goal via a Lionel throw in (for the umpteenth time). The mass orgy in the following scenes were one that we had seen far too often. The pinkies could have perhaps been forgiven hanging their heads, something that we had been accustomed to in recent meetings.

Yet unsurprisingly with the relevant personnel back in their right positions, Le Jokers finally  got a foothold in the game and created half chances to show signs of a fightback. One such chance saw AhCool beat his marker and produce a cutback for Hafeez to side foot a thumping shot against the bar. Undoubtedly the closest either side came to scoring in the 1st half after the goal. 

The 2nd saw us throw everything them pinkies had at Intense. Knowing that only a win would keep our slim title hopes alive, an Alvinaldo special very nearly dragged us back on level terms. Showing excellent speed to latch onto a brilliant diagonal, a shimmy and with half a yard of space produced, the diminutive winger powered a left foot shot that had the keeper beaten but not the inside of the post. The ball rolled agonizingly across the goal line to add to the despair of the pinkies. 

The moment for comeback came as a result of a corner swung in by AhCool. The lofted ball into the box was emphatically powered into the back of the net via the onrushing magician, Dinietov. 1-1 with minutes to play and Le Jokers had seemingly gotten a point out of nothing. 

It could only get better to the surprise of the gaffer as a long ball from the centre was chased down by Khai who showed himself to be a useful forward outlet in times of need. The Intense keeper's error of judgement left Khai needing to stretch fully to cross the ball into the box for the waiting AhCool. The man with an eye for a good bargain, whenever, wherever eventually nodded into the empty net from 6 yards. Cue moment of euphoric celebrations. 

For once after many a heartbreak against Intense at the death, them jokers pulled one out of the bag with a late showing of their own. Top notch stuff fellas. Keep it going yo~

Boy Did We Have To Work For It

Pasir Ris Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 3 Bakar 0

(Nigel, Habib, Dinie)

Memories of the epic collapse on the 2nd of Feb at Bedok View Sec in which we conceded 2 goals in the final 5 minutes to throw away a 3-1 lead against our very same opponents today were very much fresh in the boy's minds. 

We certainly played like we were emotionally scarred by that memory in the 1st half. Passing was wayward, chances were sent begging and we slogged hard but to no avail. Frustration on the faces of the Jokers were apparent. 

Cue the 2nd half and with renewed vigour, we went about playing the way we knew best. Clinicalness in front of goal during the crucial times that mattered meant we scored the opener on the hour mark with Nigel chipping the ball deliciously over the keeper. With stout defending by the boys as exemplified by the endeavour and finesse shown by Eric our ageless wonder, we soon doubled our lead through Drogbib. A toe poke can never go wrong folks. The third eventually came via great work from Alvin down the wing before Dinietov danced his way and smashed the ball into the roof of the net. 

There were chances for us to increase that lead yet 3 goals and a clean sheet at the end of the day definitely represents a good outing. 

Onwards and hopefully upwards as we now look to face the Top 4 teams in back to back to back games. Sexciting times ahead folks. Keep it going yo~!

And We Finally Meet Rosso on the Pitch

Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3  Rosso 2

(Santosh, Alvin, Dinie)

Le Jokers garnered another 3 points today in a performance that unfortunately left much to be desired. 3-2 was the final score with the 2nd half in particular, one that we would love to forget. 

The early running was made by us as we pounded the Rosso goal yet a moment of madness at the back resulted in Rosso snatching the opening goal. Goals from Santosh and then Alvin however settled the nerves for we went into the half, in the lead. 

An exquisite piece of skill by Nigel who beat 3 players before releasing Dinietov saw the latter expertly finish a fine move. 3-1 up on the hour mark and looking comfortable. 

Cue the moment for madness again as your dear gaffer handed Rosso a lifeline by dwelling on the ball in our own box, subsequently leading to a Rosso goal. 

As a whole, the entire team played far below par so it is just as well that we have next Saturday off to recharge those batteries. Nonetheless, 3 points it is. Lets work harder come the next game peeps~

Workman-like Win. But Quite The Boring for the neutrals.

Bedok North Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3  Big Belly 1

(Nigel, Eugene, AhCool)

*Endless legs, boobs, and angelic faces. Had to find something to make u lads read this boring ass report

One of those games in which the events on the pitch probably would be forgotten by the time Monday came along. The game had pretty much nothing in terms of happenings. Plenty of sideways passing on our part with the midfield getting in on the act whenever booming cross field balls were played. Yet, once again the weather took center stage with BBFC suffering under the sun with their black tops. 

Goal numero uno came courtesy of a Xavi-esque pass (this description was heavily emphasized) by Law that released the effervescent Alvin who sped away from his marker. A cut back to Syafiq-my-arse-is-becoming-beeg saw our Pogfiq, body feint in the box to create a yard of space. His ball across the face of goal was delightfully tucked home into an opponent net by Di Nigel-ia for the opener. 1 zhero in the 20th minute.

The 2nd came via a quick corner just before the half time whistle. And in a rather fortuitous manner it was. A left foot curler by Eugene evaded a whole host of bodies and beat the keeper at the far post. 2-0 and it seemed as if we were intent on boring our way to the final whistle. 

The 2nd half saw us get an early goal which probably led to the complacency in team play thereafter. Some goal it was though as Amin beckham-whipped his cross right onto the head of AhCool at the far post. The man who just completed his ippt earlier in the day had the easy task of nodding it into an empty net. 3 zhero much like the prediction our old man, Allan.

Unfortunately, that very same complacency at the back though let to us not keeping a clean sheet in the end. Miscommunication was our downfall which led to an easy tap in goal by the BBFC striker on the hour mark. Why no clean sheet siol. 

The final 20 minutes came and went without too much to be excited about with Khai's last ditch tackle probably the highlight of it all. 3 points in tough conditions. Cheerios for the after game talk cock session. Its heartening to see more and more stay to chit chat thereafter. 

More of the same next week boys. 

Sixth Time's the Charm Against Them Andrews

Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3  St Andrews 1

(Dinietov x2, Khai)

Word before the game was about losing streaks. We had lost our last 2 games, to Intense in the league and to Purple Monkeys (with a whole host of St Andrews players as well) in the cup quarters last Sunday. 

And then there was the matter of having not beaten the blues in our last 5 meetings having won in our 1st 3. There was no doubt that morale within the camp wasn't the highest having lost crucial games in which we could have done a whole lot better in. It did not help that we started the 1st half with our captain in goal. 

The 1st half came and went without much incident though we have to commend the referee on allowing us quickie stops in both halves for water breaks. The bloody heat was maddening and even us local boys were suffering. Thankfully excellent sportsmanship was shown by the St Andrews lads who booted the ball out when 2 of our men (Hafiz and Eugene) attempted to kill each other by heading the other instead of the ball. Hafiz ended the game looking like ET as proof of his "heroics". We shall put it down to the weather that our players were toeing the line and on the verge of losing their heads. Tempers were flaring within the camp but thankfully we held together. 0-0. 

2nd half and the floodgamtes opened. Nigel-Dinie our new gayboy partnership flourished for 1 zhero with a neat through ball for our Striker who toe poked it past the Italian stallion. Paul Ramsden of St Andrews, one whom we would dearly love to see in our colours someday (pardon the open flirtations here) made us pay for slack defending as he thumped home one of their few chances in the 2nd period. Thankfully an odd lapse in concentration for the YSOSRS backline saw their Malay striker fail to take advantage of a spilled save from Isk who bravely stood in goal as Khai went on a rambo mission in the 2nd half. 

The winning goal eventually came when our goalkeeper in the 1st period, domineering centreback in the 2nd stepped up to thump home his 1st ever goal for the team via a corner. The corner routine was a delight with Nigel floating it to the backpost for our heading machine, Law to nod it across goal for the onwaiting botak. With a new cleanshaven head, he connected and finished with aplomb from 6 yards. 

Our third goal was the kind of goal that this team have the capability of producing on a consistent basis yet we fail to do so. Tap tap tap, pass pass and through ball that sliced apart the St Andrews backline.  On the day of his 100th appearance, our main man slid the ball calmly pass Sandro to wrap things up for us.  

3-1 and the smiles are back. If only we had played like this on a more consistent basis and perhaps, we would have been up there challenging with Intense and the rest. 

Special mention to the entire team with our backline sticking to the game plan well, our wingers doing an excellent covering job when it mattered and of course our attackers for getting the goals. All in all, a well deserved 3 points. 

P.S: Cheers to both Dinie and Farhan who join an elite group of Jokers today, namely: Syafiq, Mok and Law as centurions. Onwards to the next 100 bitches!!!

Regrets Aplenty. But Them Jokers Are Knocked Out in the Last 8 of the Cup

Woodlands Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 2  Purple Monkeys 3

(Santosh, Eugene)

One man to ruin it all

A healthy squad of 15 men gathered at woodlands secondary for the quarter-final clash. Gaffer sir moklex ferguson was unavailable due to unknown reasons and interim managers andre villas ws and syafiq conte stepped in into the fray. But sir moklex's pump, ball, tape, and scissors were greatly missed by the players.

With the likes of xavi ubai, dinietov and a certain neymar upfront it seemed to be a clear-cut game for the jokers. However the first minutes were tentative and the jokers struggled to grab a foothold of the game. It took a further turn for the worst when an early goal was conceded. Jokers were down 1-0.

Astute substitutions were made and the suddenly the jokers begin to impose themselves. Ronald-o, with an injection of pace, somehow managed to skip past a few of the purple monkeys and roll the ball onto Alvin-do. The ball was squared across the goal line and wonderboy santosh waste no chance to get the goal back. The jokers regained their confidence and many chances were created. Dinietov's glancing header was cleared by a desperate lunge at the goal line by the defender and Toshie's shot literally blasted the post. Half-time and the jokers were clearly having the upper hand.

Up to this point, the interim gaffer avws was having a superb game at the sideline. It should have been this way until the end. But it wasn't to be. Naive he was to sub himself in with about 20 minutes to go and immediately tables were turned. 2 soft goals were conceded from counter attacks, all stemming from mispasses by the interim gaffer. Confidence were low but the jokers were not accepting this cruel fate. A desperate fightback amounted to a goal by Eugene bale. It was a case of too little, too late. Players surging forward and a few goal line clearances later, the ref sealed the jokers fate with his final whistle.

All in all, a valiant effort by the guys. But bad avws! Bad bad avws.

Deja Vu

1500 Hrs, Tampines Sec

YSOSRS 1  Intense 2

(Hafeez x1)

Coming.
Someday.

Soon.

Surreal Scoreline. Good Clinical Finishing.

*My namesake

Pasir Ris Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 9  Electico 0

(Mok x3, Dinie x2, Hafeez, Alvin, Nigel, AhCool)

As mentioned in our FB group, our match day squad had shrank considerably throughout the week from our more than comfortable 18 to a mere 13-14 by game day itself. Players were out on a bender the night before and there were the ones with other hanky panky activities at home. Either with their computers if not other forms of entertainment too explicit for a public website as such(shall leave it as that). This certainly did not make the planning easy as we eventually lined up on the pitch against a surprisingly foreign looking Eclectico.

They were the very same side that had condemned us to a 2-2 draw as they hustled from being 2 goals down to deal us a real blow on the opening day of the season. What was for certain was the manner in which they had carved us open on Day 1, and that certainly left a lasting image going into this return tie.

Anyhow game time came and the boys who were present sought to go for the jugular from the get go. An early inswinging freekick from Hafiz served as an early sign of things to come as it smacked the top of the bar.

1-0: Then came probably the most amazing/stunning/unbelievable/(fill it in with your own adjective) moment of the day. A splendid through ball by Law from the centre saw Mr Kp old men rolling back the years (Alvin if u were wondering) by bursting down the flanks and expertly cutting the ball back into the penalty box. Habib smashed the initial shot that ricochet into the path of Moksi. Creating just enough space with his first touch, a swivel and a shot saw the keeper push the ball into the roof of the net as it only just bounced across the line. Finally a goal for the much dissed gaffer on 15 minutes.

2-0: The day got even weirder as Nigel drifted in from the left thus allowing a sea of space for Moksi. Threading a nicely crafted through ball, the gaffer stunned all as his finish showed considerable amount of deception. He rolled it in after faking the keeper to shoot at the far post. (Till now, the man himself is unable to explain if he meant it or not. Benefit of the doubt ah peeps).

3-0: The weirdest hattrick of the season was complete when Habib who was a torn all afternoon, flicked, controlled, flicked again and burst into the box. A left foot cutback somehow looped up invitingly for the gaffer to side foot home just outside the 6 yard box. The Jokers themselves were as stunned as the Eclectico players. For much different reasons though. 

4-0: Cue the moment for our fast maturing DM who made forward runs from deep at every opportunity. One such run saw him receive the ball just outside the D, and he unleashed a well angled shot into the bottom left of the net leaving the keeper with no chance. First goal of the season for our youngster who has impressed all with his steadily growing confidence and increasingly tightening Jersey top. Muskles boy muskles.

5-0: Dinietov then got in on the act just before the whistle blew after some devastating wing play by Nigel down the left, leaving his marker floundering. One touch and boom from just inside the penalty box by our magician, and it left the opposing keeper once again with absolutely no chance. We were in heaven at the moment. Beep beeeeeep. 

We were ever so wary though of the increasingly darkening sky and the flashes of lightning across the sky. Surely not another rain off?!!

The signs were there in that the goalscoring wasn't finish. A beautiful cut back from Nigel saw Dinie crack a first time shot against the post that ended in AhCool slamming the rebound over from 6 yards. Aiyo.. And then Bib-ba chased down a lofted ball over the top, beat and rounded the keeper twice, before slamming the ball into the exact same branch above the goal. Wakao.

6-0: Anyway my memory from here started disappearing... Sorry to the ones who scored as I try my best to piece together the happenings.. Im gonna get a backlash for this I know. Anyhow, pretty sure it was a brilliant cross field ball from Hafiz from the back that saw Nigel accelerate away and beat his marker to it with his chest.This, before rounding the keeper and stabbing it home from close range. Oh so sexay. 

7-0: Can't exactly remember this one too but I believe a cross to Dinie saw him cushion header it down for AhCool to sidefoot home as the Eclectico players cried for offside. 

8-0: The goalscoring continued for us thankfully as the noisy Alvin sped away from his marker before laying the ball unselfishly into the path of Dinietov. The man worked himself a yard of space in the box before finishing well past the last ditch tackle from the defender and under the body of the keeper. 

9-0: Khai mentioned that this looked a tad like a FIFA game moment as Alvin pounced on a loose ball just outside the Eclectico box. He rolled back the years to his dancing days and side stepped 2 defenders and the goalkeeper in a jaw dropping sequence before toe poking the ball into the net. 

Game. Set. Match.

Good day to you all and thank you for the efforts shown. <3>