POS

TEAM

P

W

D

L

F

A

GD

Pts

1

El Retador Football Club

17

13

3

1

67

26

41

42

2

TeamCuzz Football Club

15

11

1

3

57

22

35

34

3

YSOSRS Football Club

14

10

2

2

44

18

26

32

4*

Team Intense Football Club

13

10

1

2

42

15

27

30

5*

St Andrews Football Club

13

7

2

4

36

23

13

22

6

Big Belly Football Club

16

4

0

12

22

42

-20

12

7*

RockU Football Club

13

5

0

8

23

42

-19

10


8

Eclectico FC

12

2

2

8

17

44

-27

8


9*

Bakar Bersatu FC

12

1

2

9

12

41

-29

2

10*

Rosso Football Club

15

0

1

14

9

56

-47

-2


*Rosso deducted 3 pts for admin issues









*RockU deducted 3 pts for everything









*Bakar deducted 3 points for admin issues









*St Andrews deducted 1 pt for handbags









*TI deducted 1 pt for admin issues








*Updated as of 10th June 2013

13th July 2013

Retador 3 YSOSRS 1

Eclectico vs Intense [3pm @ Bendemeer Sec]

Bakar vs Big Belly [3pm @ Pasir Ris Sec]

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Another Title Challenge Bites The Dust

Firstly, a huge congratulations to Retador who were a picture of consistency for majority of the season. It could be said that the pulling out of St Andrews at an untimely manner meant that the initiative was handed to Retador in the title race. However, we cannot take away the fact that they were arguably the best footballing side this season. Well played boys. 

Back to us, with the gaffer himself out of action and a whole host of players missing due to the Ramadan period, the "title deciding game" was always going to be an uphill struggle. 

The scoreline according to various sources could have been so very different with us scoring early on. And then missing chances to double our lead. 

Unfortunately, our lengthy absence from the pitch told as we contrived to shoot ourselves in the foot and allowed our opponents a foothold in the game with our ill advised concessions at the back. 

In the end, failure to take our chances in front of the Retador goal meant we were on the receiving end of a 1-3 defeat. Perhaps it could have been so very different. 

But then again, perhaps we will live on the moon someday. Another season of failure at the finishing line. We will lick our wounds and another title shot come next season will hang in the balance for now. 

Cheers Retador and to all them teams for Season 11 Saturday Div 1.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Another Title Race Ends in Tears

Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3 St Andrews 4

(Alvin x2, Ubai)

The high of a comeback victory against Intense last weekend saw us daring to dream of a miraculous comeback in this season's title race. 

Yet we failed so miserably in replicating that this weekend as we went down 0-3 by the hour mark. Our play was as clueless as it could get and the entire side was in absolute shambles. St Andrews capitalised well on our mistakes and were undoubtedly the better side. 

Yet the hour mark changed things and all of a sudden we were playing the football that we knew we could play. Through balls and incisive passing became our lethal weapon with our winger Alvinaldo living up to his name with 2 fine ass finishes. The 2nd was a particularly astonishing strike from hardly any angle. 

The fightback was on and it was completed when our midfield maestro curled a freekick home from the edge of the box to make it 3-3 with 3 minutes to go. 

Needing all 3 points in order to stay in the title race, we pushed men forward and were given a Beckham vs Greece chance in the final minute. We failed to replicate the end result and with chaos reigning... Yet another mistake at the back resulted in Firdaus who was a torn all afternoon finish with aplomb. 

3-4 in an exhilarating contest that more or less sums up our season. The football that we know how to play allows us to compete with any of the sides in this division, yet our naive nature and tendency to resort to the English style leaves us fighting hard to shed the tag of perennial underachievers yet again. 

Thank you for the clash St Andrews and to the rest of the contesting teams, we will continue to maintain the integrity of this sexciting title race by playing our best in our remaining games. 

May the best team emerge triumphant. Cheers. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

At The Death

First Toa Payoh Sec, 1500 Hrs

Intense 1 YSOSRS 2 

(Dinie x1, AhCool x1)

It was very much deja vu today. 5 minutes into the game and with players playing out of position, we conceded the 1st goal via a Lionel throw in (for the umpteenth time). The mass orgy in the following scenes were one that we had seen far too often. The pinkies could have perhaps been forgiven hanging their heads, something that we had been accustomed to in recent meetings.

Yet unsurprisingly with the relevant personnel back in their right positions, Le Jokers finally  got a foothold in the game and created half chances to show signs of a fightback. One such chance saw AhCool beat his marker and produce a cutback for Hafeez to side foot a thumping shot against the bar. Undoubtedly the closest either side came to scoring in the 1st half after the goal. 

The 2nd saw us throw everything them pinkies had at Intense. Knowing that only a win would keep our slim title hopes alive, an Alvinaldo special very nearly dragged us back on level terms. Showing excellent speed to latch onto a brilliant diagonal, a shimmy and with half a yard of space produced, the diminutive winger powered a left foot shot that had the keeper beaten but not the inside of the post. The ball rolled agonizingly across the goal line to add to the despair of the pinkies. 

The moment for comeback came as a result of a corner swung in by AhCool. The lofted ball into the box was emphatically powered into the back of the net via the onrushing magician, Dinietov. 1-1 with minutes to play and Le Jokers had seemingly gotten a point out of nothing. 

It could only get better to the surprise of the gaffer as a long ball from the centre was chased down by Khai who showed himself to be a useful forward outlet in times of need. The Intense keeper's error of judgement left Khai needing to stretch fully to cross the ball into the box for the waiting AhCool. The man with an eye for a good bargain, whenever, wherever eventually nodded into the empty net from 6 yards. Cue moment of euphoric celebrations. 

For once after many a heartbreak against Intense at the death, them jokers pulled one out of the bag with a late showing of their own. Top notch stuff fellas. Keep it going yo~

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Boy Did We Have To Work For It


Pasir Ris Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 3 Bakar 0

(Nigel, Habib, Dinie)

Memories of the epic collapse on the 2nd of Feb at Bedok View Sec in which we conceded 2 goals in the final 5 minutes to throw away a 3-1 lead against our very same opponents today were very much fresh in the boy's minds. 

We certainly played like we were emotionally scarred by that memory in the 1st half. Passing was wayward, chances were sent begging and we slogged hard but to no avail. Frustration on the faces of the Jokers were apparent. 

Cue the 2nd half and with renewed vigour, we went about playing the way we knew best. Clinicalness in front of goal during the crucial times that mattered meant we scored the opener on the hour mark with Nigel chipping the ball deliciously over the keeper. With stout defending by the boys as exemplified by the endeavour and finesse shown by Eric our ageless wonder, we soon doubled our lead through Drogbib. A toe poke can never go wrong folks. The third eventually came via great work from Alvin down the wing before Dinietov danced his way and smashed the ball into the roof of the net. 

There were chances for us to increase that lead yet 3 goals and a clean sheet at the end of the day definitely represents a good outing. 

Onwards and hopefully upwards as we now look to face the Top 4 teams in back to back to back games. Sexciting times ahead folks. Keep it going yo~!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

And We Finally Meet Rosso on the Pitch


Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3  Rosso 2

(Santosh, Alvin, Dinie)

Le Jokers garnered another 3 points today in a performance that unfortunately left much to be desired. 3-2 was the final score with the 2nd half in particular, one that we would love to forget. 

The early running was made by us as we pounded the Rosso goal yet a moment of madness at the back resulted in Rosso snatching the opening goal. Goals from Santosh and then Alvin however settled the nerves for we went into the half, in the lead. 

An exquisite piece of skill by Nigel who beat 3 players before releasing Dinietov saw the latter expertly finish a fine move. 3-1 up on the hour mark and looking comfortable. 

Cue the moment for madness again as your dear gaffer handed Rosso a lifeline by dwelling on the ball in our own box, subsequently leading to a Rosso goal. 

As a whole, the entire team played far below par so it is just as well that we have next Saturday off to recharge those batteries. Nonetheless, 3 points it is. Lets work harder come the next game peeps~

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Workman-like Win. But Quite The Boring for the neutrals.

Bedok North Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3  Big Belly 1

(Nigel, Eugene, AhCool)


*Endless legs, boobs, and angelic faces. Had to find something to make u lads read this boring ass report


One of those games in which the events on the pitch probably would be forgotten by the time Monday came along. The game had pretty much nothing in terms of happenings. Plenty of sideways passing on our part with the midfield getting in on the act whenever booming cross field balls were played. Yet, once again the weather took center stage with BBFC suffering under the sun with their black tops. 

Goal numero uno came courtesy of a Xavi-esque pass (this description was heavily emphasized) by Law that released the effervescent Alvin who sped away from his marker. A cut back to Syafiq-my-arse-is-becoming-beeg saw our Pogfiq, body feint in the box to create a yard of space. His ball across the face of goal was delightfully tucked home into an opponent net by Di Nigel-ia for the opener. 1 zhero in the 20th minute.

The 2nd came via a quick corner just before the half time whistle. And in a rather fortuitous manner it was. A left foot curler by Eugene evaded a whole host of bodies and beat the keeper at the far post. 2-0 and it seemed as if we were intent on boring our way to the final whistle. 

The 2nd half saw us get an early goal which probably led to the complacency in team play thereafter. Some goal it was though as Amin beckham-whipped his cross right onto the head of AhCool at the far post. The man who just completed his ippt earlier in the day had the easy task of nodding it into an empty net. 3 zhero much like the prediction our old man, Allan.

Unfortunately, that very same complacency at the back though let to us not keeping a clean sheet in the end. Miscommunication was our downfall which led to an easy tap in goal by the BBFC striker on the hour mark. Why no clean sheet siol. 

The final 20 minutes came and went without too much to be excited about with Khai's last ditch tackle probably the highlight of it all. 3 points in tough conditions. Cheerios for the after game talk cock session. Its heartening to see more and more stay to chit chat thereafter. 

More of the same next week boys. 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Sixth Time's the Charm Against Them Andrews

Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3  St Andrews 1

(Dinietov x2, Khai)


Word before the game was about losing streaks. We had lost our last 2 games, to Intense in the league and to Purple Monkeys (with a whole host of St Andrews players as well) in the cup quarters last Sunday. 

And then there was the matter of having not beaten the blues in our last 5 meetings having won in our 1st 3. There was no doubt that morale within the camp wasn't the highest having lost crucial games in which we could have done a whole lot better in. It did not help that we started the 1st half with our captain in goal. 


The 1st half came and went without much incident though we have to commend the referee on allowing us quickie stops in both halves for water breaks. The bloody heat was maddening and even us local boys were suffering. Thankfully excellent sportsmanship was shown by the St Andrews lads who booted the ball out when 2 of our men (Hafiz and Eugene) attempted to kill each other by heading the other instead of the ball. Hafiz ended the game looking like ET as proof of his "heroics". We shall put it down to the weather that our players were toeing the line and on the verge of losing their heads. Tempers were flaring within the camp but thankfully we held together. 0-0. 


2nd half and the floodgamtes opened. Nigel-Dinie our new gayboy partnership flourished for 1 zhero with a neat through ball for our Striker who toe poked it past the Italian stallion. Paul Ramsden of St Andrews, one whom we would dearly love to see in our colours someday (pardon the open flirtations here) made us pay for slack defending as he thumped home one of their few chances in the 2nd period. Thankfully an odd lapse in concentration for the YSOSRS backline saw their Malay striker fail to take advantage of a spilled save from Isk who bravely stood in goal as Khai went on a rambo mission in the 2nd half. 


The winning goal eventually came when our goalkeeper in the 1st period, domineering centreback in the 2nd stepped up to thump home his 1st ever goal for the team via a corner. The corner routine was a delight with Nigel floating it to the backpost for our heading machine, Law to nod it across goal for the onwaiting botak. With a new cleanshaven head, he connected and finished with aplomb from 6 yards. 


Our third goal was the kind of goal that this team have the capability of producing on a consistent basis yet we fail to do so. Tap tap tap, pass pass and through ball that sliced apart the St Andrews backline.  On the day of his 100th appearance, our main man slid the ball calmly pass Sandro to wrap things up for us.  


3-1 and the smiles are back. If only we had played like this on a more consistent basis and perhaps, we would have been up there challenging with Intense and the rest. 


Special mention to the entire team with our backline sticking to the game plan well, our wingers doing an excellent covering job when it mattered and of course our attackers for getting the goals. All in all, a well deserved 3 points. 


P.S: Cheers to both Dinie and Farhan who join an elite group of Jokers today, namely: Syafiq, Mok and Law as centurions. Onwards to the next 100 bitches!!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Regrets Aplenty. But Them Jokers Are Knocked Out in the Last 8 of the Cup

Woodlands Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 2  Purple Monkeys 3

(Santosh, Eugene)

One man to ruin it all

A healthy squad of 15 men gathered at woodlands secondary for the quarter-final clash. Gaffer sir moklex ferguson was unavailable due to unknown reasons and interim managers andre villas ws and syafiq conte stepped in into the fray. But sir moklex's pump, ball, tape, and scissors were greatly missed by the players.


With the likes of xavi ubai, dinietov and a certain neymar upfront it seemed to be a clear-cut game for the jokers. However the first minutes were tentative and the jokers struggled to grab a foothold of the game. It took a further turn for the worst when an early goal was conceded. Jokers were down 1-0.

Astute substitutions were made and the suddenly the jokers begin to impose themselves. Ronald-o, with an injection of pace, somehow managed to skip past a few of the purple monkeys and roll the ball onto Alvin-do. The ball was squared across the goal line and wonderboy santosh waste no chance to get the goal back. The jokers regained their confidence and many chances were created. Dinietov's glancing header was cleared by a desperate lunge at the goal line by the defender and Toshie's shot literally blasted the post. Half-time and the jokers were clearly having the upper hand.


Up to this point, the interim gaffer avws was having a superb game at the sideline. It should have been this way until the end. But it wasn't to be. Naive he was to sub himself in with about 20 minutes to go and immediately tables were turned. 2 soft goals were conceded from counter attacks, all stemming from mispasses by the interim gaffer. Confidence were low but the jokers were not accepting this cruel fate. A desperate fightback amounted to a goal by Eugene bale. It was a case of too little, too late. Players surging forward and a few goal line clearances later, the ref sealed the jokers fate with his final whistle.

All in all, a valiant effort by the guys. But bad avws! Bad bad avws.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Deja Vu

1500 Hrs, Tampines Sec

YSOSRS 1  Intense 2

(Hafeez x1)

Coming.
Someday.
Soon.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Surreal Scoreline. Good Clinical Finishing.

*My namesake

Pasir Ris Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 9  Electico 0

(Mok x3, Dinie x2, Hafeez, Alvin, Nigel, AhCool)

As mentioned in our FB group, our match day squad had shrank considerably throughout the week from our more than comfortable 18 to a mere 13-14 by game day itself. Players were out on a bender the night before and there were the ones with other hanky panky activities at home. Either with their computers if not other forms of entertainment too explicit for a public website as such(shall leave it as that). This certainly did not make the planning easy as we eventually lined up on the pitch against a surprisingly foreign looking Eclectico.

They were the very same side that had condemned us to a 2-2 draw as they hustled from being 2 goals down to deal us a real blow on the opening day of the season. What was for certain was the manner in which they had carved us open on Day 1, and that certainly left a lasting image going into this return tie.


Anyhow game time came and the boys who were present sought to go for the jugular from the get go. An early inswinging freekick from Hafiz served as an early sign of things to come as it smacked the top of the bar.


1-0: Then came probably the most amazing/stunning/unbelievable/(fill it in with your own adjective) moment of the day. A splendid through ball by Law from the centre saw Mr Kp old men rolling back the years (Alvin if u were wondering) by bursting down the flanks and expertly cutting the ball back into the penalty box. Habib smashed the initial shot that ricochet into the path of Moksi. Creating just enough space with his first touch, a swivel and a shot saw the keeper push the ball into the roof of the net as it only just bounced across the line. Finally a goal for the much dissed gaffer on 15 minutes.

2-0: The day got even weirder as Nigel drifted in from the left thus allowing a sea of space for Moksi. Threading a nicely crafted through ball, the gaffer stunned all as his finish showed considerable amount of deception. He rolled it in after faking the keeper to shoot at the far post. (Till now, the man himself is unable to explain if he meant it or not. Benefit of the doubt ah peeps).


3-0: The weirdest hattrick of the season was complete when Habib who was a torn all afternoon, flicked, controlled, flicked again and burst into the box. A left foot cutback somehow looped up invitingly for the gaffer to side foot home just outside the 6 yard box. The Jokers themselves were as stunned as the Eclectico players. For much different reasons though. 


4-0: Cue the moment for our fast maturing DM who made forward runs from deep at every opportunity. One such run saw him receive the ball just outside the D, and he unleashed a well angled shot into the bottom left of the net leaving the keeper with no chance. First goal of the season for our youngster who has impressed all with his steadily growing confidence and increasingly tightening Jersey top. Muskles boy muskles.


5-0: Dinietov then got in on the act just before the whistle blew after some devastating wing play by Nigel down the left, leaving his marker floundering. One touch and boom from just inside the penalty box by our magician, and it left the opposing keeper once again with absolutely no chance. We were in heaven at the moment. Beep beeeeeep. 


We were ever so wary though of the increasingly darkening sky and the flashes of lightning across the sky. Surely not another rain off?!!

The signs were there in that the goalscoring wasn't finish. A beautiful cut back from Nigel saw Dinie crack a first time shot against the post that ended in AhCool slamming the rebound over from 6 yards. Aiyo.. And then Bib-ba chased down a lofted ball over the top, beat and rounded the keeper twice, before slamming the ball into the exact same branch above the goal. Wakao.


6-0: Anyway my memory from here started disappearing... Sorry to the ones who scored as I try my best to piece together the happenings.. Im gonna get a backlash for this I know. Anyhow, pretty sure it was a brilliant cross field ball from Hafiz from the back that saw Nigel accelerate away and beat his marker to it with his chest.This, before rounding the keeper and stabbing it home from close range. Oh so sexay. 

7-0: Can't exactly remember this one too but I believe a cross to Dinie saw him cushion header it down for AhCool to sidefoot home as the Eclectico players cried for offside. 


8-0: The goalscoring continued for us thankfully as the noisy Alvin sped away from his marker before laying the ball unselfishly into the path of Dinietov. The man worked himself a yard of space in the box before finishing well past the last ditch tackle from the defender and under the body of the keeper. 


9-0: Khai mentioned that this looked a tad like a FIFA game moment as Alvin pounced on a loose ball just outside the Eclectico box. He rolled back the years to his dancing days and side stepped 2 defenders and the goalkeeper in a jaw dropping sequence before toe poking the ball into the net. 


Game. Set. Match.

Good day to you all and thank you for the efforts shown. <3>

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Yet Another Farcical Afternoon

Woodlands Ring Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 3  RockU 0

(Walkover)

Sunday, March 3, 2013

To Infinity And BEYOND. Quarters Here We Come!!!

Woodlands Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 2  Fighting Cocks 1

(Hafiz, Santosh)

The gaffer/kitman/ballboy/team journalist has had a tiring ass weekend organising the Jokers for back to back games. Thank god it is finally over now and winning 2 out of 2 crunch games in sweltering conditions makes it so so so so so much more sweeter. I'd raise my glass to one and all associated with the team for this too. Amazing effort yo. 

A round of 16 clash it was today after our hardfought game against Cuzz just yesterday. Standing in our way were the more illustrious Vietnamese outfit in Fighting Cocks FC. Runners up in the Espzen Sunday League, Division 2. Having faced them 2 years ago when the Jokers were still finding their feet in the amateur football scene, we were humbled 2-1 back then as we were outmaneuvered and outplayed. 

Fast forward all this time and with the Jokers side virtually unrecognizable from that time, the pinkies took to the pitch with a quiet confidence in taking on our adversaries on the day. Oh yes, the pre match drama of having our match day squad wiltered down to a bare 12 at noon, before stunningly seeing a massive 19 turn up by kick off meant that the gaffer had already worked OT before a ball had been kicked. 

Talk about the woes of managing a social football side. Whoever said it was easy please try to keep one afloat for 3 years straight!!

Okay rant over and the boys took to the pitch. Beep beep. The game ebbed and flowed with FCFC making most of the early running and cuddling the ball with an ease that was frightening. Nevertheless, the boys in pink had the better of the earlier chances with match day loanie, John going close on at least 2 occasions. The gaffer had a hand in one of those chances when he astounded onlookers with a sprint *uhuh* and then a pin point cross that baffled his teammates more than the opposing defenders. Happens once in a pink moon folks. Hope you enjoyed it. (*Had to be included in the report lest he is forgotten as a footballer too). Sadly an assist it wasn't to be as John couldn't quite connect. 

Anyway, chances were few and far in between as both sides were locked in an epic engine room battle.  I kick you, you kick me. Oh yeah, my butt cheek got kneed by someone and it hurts like hell. Hard ass game quite literally. 

2nd half came and the game finally saw a goal. For FCFC unfortunately for us. Dalliance in a wrong area of the pitch, just around our penalty box, saw a loose ball poked to the Jap lookalike FCFC midfielder who planted a sumptous long range drive past Khai. Usually absolutely nothing gets past our custodian but I guess the fact that he didn't have handling practise on Saturday night explains him not saving that one. More practice sessions pre game next time bro.  

Knowing that we had a 0.5 goal handicap (or at least the gaffer knew), cause the players played as if they were prepared to throw the kitchen sink at this point, the Jokers only needed a draw to go through. Euphoria eventually came for us when a corner was swung in from the right. Plenty of messiness later with bodies strewn all over the ground in the box, Hafiz slammed home a right footed shot. Only his 2nd goal for the team but a priceless one it was!! With his right peg at that!! With 25 minutes to go, the finishing line was in sight.

Holding firm, our defensive discipline was not only tested by FCFC but also by the maddening heat. Heat emits from my body as I type this. Hotness overload here folks. 

Anyhow, boom bam boom. The Jokers finally made sure of the win when we counter attacked as FCFC pushed forward in search of the winner late on. Our monster (Not Drogbib), outran his marker, flicked the ball over his head and produced a wonderous trickling shot that beat the keeper. The trickle probably did the trick. Hell yeah. Beep beep freeep. As the ref blew for an end to the game almost immediately.  

Okay me ish tired now and I'm gonna call it a night. Thanks all. Hope you remembered that I sprinted, I almost produced a peach of a cross for a goal and I got my right ass cheek kneed. Blue black now yo. All for the sake of the team. 

Love ya. And see you bitches next Saturday. 

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Graft And Efficiency Garners 3 Priceless Points Against Old Friends, Cuzz

Tampines Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 2  TeamCuzz 0

(Nigel, Izwann)

The pre match word was that Cuzz were struggling for numbers going into this huge clash whilst the Joker's gaffer had a healthy numbers count. It looked oh so rosy at this point. Fast forward to 3pm today at Tampines Sec and a huge entourage of Cuzz players were playing a game of monkey in the center circle while the Jokers slowly strolled into the pitch. There was a not so awesome number of 8 jokers by 3pm. 

To make matters worse, it seemed like a whole host of Meridian JC star players had found home in Cuzz colors. I guess that most definitely explains the stunning start Cuzz have had this season. We were not showing it on our faces but unnerving it certainly was. 

The 1st half was a slow lumbering affair as both sides were affected severely by the crazy heat. We had an awesome chance to go 1 up when Habib used every inch of his Drogbib like ass to get 2 Cuzz defenders to tackle each other, before showing us the strength in his Drogbib thighs. He blasted a shot just over the goal when faced only with the giant of a keeper. Drats. 

2nd half and the likes of Law, Hafeez and XabiWs were doing the best to match Cuzz in the engine room. More than match they certainly did. However the turning point came as the lanky Nigel was switched back to the right flank. XabiWs who had been suffering in adjusting to the pace of the game finally came good as he produced a simple dink between 2 Cuzz players to set Nigel free just inside the Cuzz box. A right footed half volley saw it nestle sweetly into the bottom left corner of the opposing goal. 

Fyi, he didnt celebrate. Macam Balotelli siol. Scoring goals is his job and he doesn't have to celebrate when he does his job. (My words bro)

With 25 minutes to go, it was likely to be a hands to the pump kind of situation as Cuzz were expected to throw the kitchen sink at us. That they did for we attempted to aid them in scoring as well. Several untimely tackles contributed to dangerous FK situations in and around our box. 

Insurance was soon obtained off a Cuzz corner and our nepalese monster broke forward with pace. Wann the cockroach man scuttled forward at lightning pace. Aided able-ly by Drogbib, the monster and TigerLaw (I think)... Cockroach man decided that he did not need the support of the lads as he calmly slid the ball under the Cuzz keeper. 2-0 with minutes to go and breathing space finally. 

Beep beep beep. Sucky ref blows the final whistle as the dark clouds gathered and he needed to get his ass outta there before it started pouring.

For us, a solid 3 points in a really shiok performance. Kudos to all who played.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Walkover Woes

Bedok North Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 3  Rosso 0 

(Walkover)

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Finally A Win

Ping Yi Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 5  Big Belly FC 2 

(Mahdi, Isk x2, AhCool x2)


Having notched a mere 2 points in our 1st 3 games, the jokers were staring down the barrel of a potentially barren season. Having shot ourselves in the foot on more than one occasion in what is turning out to be arguably the most competitive Div 1 season, we were looking to banish the demons of our failings in the 1st couple of games with a win today. 

As it would be, we made hard work of it on a tiny Ping Yi Sec pitch that had no water of any sorts. Relief came in the form of rain sometime midway through the 1st half. Oh shiok.

1-0: A long booming goalkick from our Mr-Ive-got-safe-hands was  cutely flicked on by our heading machine, Law. As the BBFC backline appealed for offside, East-Side-Di powered away from his marker to calmly roll the ball home in the 15th minute. 

2-1: Not long after conceding a penalty, the man with a cool side parting Isk, stepped up to wam-zam-smash a freekick through a whole host of bodies. It certainly helped that BBFC were concerned about providing their stand in keeper with more protection. Turns out the bodies acted as a distraction for we led again. Only just... 

2-2 at HT as we defended poorly. Kns. 

3-2: Isk reprised his role as FK specialist when he stepped up to beautifully place yet another curler into the bottom right hand corner. A specialist keeper would have struggled to get a hand to that as well. Mr act cool decided to celebrate with absolutely no emotions at all. (His celebration came an hour after the game via twitter: 2 free kicks, 2 goals. Oh Yeah! #likeaboss) Yes yes we know Isk. 

4-2: As BBFC threatened to hit us with their pace especially on the wings, our nearly forgotten winger, AhCool rolled back the years with some exhilarating wing play. Beating his man with a couple of lucky bounces of the ball, the man who really needed a goal finally scored as he found the bottom right hand corner of the goal with a placed shot. There were many of us who thought he had missed though due to the hole in the net, but golazo nonetheless. 

5-2: A flattering gloss to the scoreline was provided by the now confident AhCool as he took on his man from the left flank, beat a player and smashed home a wicked shot into the same corner. 

Posts were hit, open goals missed, near chances somewhere in the mix but the culprits of non-scoring shall go unnamed today. Decent win, and we look to build on the result. 

Bye. 

- Report churned out in double quick time because Bai would be on my case for being lazy. 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Naiveté in the Jokers Play Means 2 Points Dropped

Bedok View Sec, 3pm 

YSOSRS 3  Bakar 3

(Habib, Izwann, Zheng Yee)

On a day which everything was going according to plan. Yet we epicly shot ourselves in the foot after being 3-1 up having only 5 minutes to play. Chaos reigned in that last couple of minutes as the boys froze and seemingly forgot how to play. 

We most certainly had the better of play for most of the 2nd half and that was unfortunately not reflected in us notching a goal or 2 more. As it would be, we succumbed to the lack of composure and begrudingly had to go home with only a point when 3 seemed highly likely. 

We will definitely have to learn from this set back and continue moving on as we go in search of our 1st win. A long way back now...

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Spirited But Not Quite Enough

Woodlands Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 2  Retador 4 

(Nigel x2)

Facing up against runaway leaders Retador, who were a perfect 7 out of 7 having scored 28 goals and only shipping 1 in the process pre game, meant that us Jokers strolled into Woodlands Sec with an air of anxiety within our camp. 

Well, we got close when we equalised early in the 1st half through new boy Nigel. And then pulled it back to 2-3 with 15 mins to go. Truth be told, our best spell in the 2nd half meant that we were more than a match for our illustrious opponents yet it wasn't meant to be. Naiveté in our play meant that we were punished at every opportunity Retador had. 4 goals that we arguably could have done better with but Retador being them, were clinical as hell. 

Having only played 2 games in comparison to the numerous the rest of the teams have played, yet we are now a whopping 23 points behind the front runner. Most definitely does not make for good reading but hell, one game at a time. Adios amigos~

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Banana Skin Avoided in Cup Victory

St Wilfred Complex, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 3 Etoile 0

(Izwann x2, Santosh)

The plan was for back to back games with the biggie against Team Intense on Saturday and Etoile FC in the cup on Sunday. As fate would have it, our biggie was postponed due to the incessant downpour faced by our tiny island all weekend long. Thank god for the extra hours to sleep in. Yesaah.

Onwards to a Sunday that was also persistently pelted with rain all day long yet it was still very much game on. A squad with a whole host of regulars unavailable as we were playing on our unfamiliar day of the weekend. Booooo.

Anyhow, decked out in blue were the boys of Etoile FC and they were certainly all set and ready to go by 3pm. As for the pinkies, we had latecomers (gaffer included), streaming in hurriedly with socks pulled up on one but not the other side. Story of a lazy team now indeed.

1-0: Plenty of prompting and hustling in the middle of the pitch to no avail. Yet the signs were there for the jokers who continuously knocked on the french team's door. Fortunately, our stylish forward provided us with the impetus to win the game by opening the scoring. Nicking the ball off a slow to react defender, cockroach (I was told never to use it again but who cares.. Heh) man showed some epic shuffles in the box to find space from a tight angle and prod the ball past the stranded keeper. Golaazzzoooo.

HT as the pinkies go in a goal to the goood. Always a dangerous lead though with Etoile FC hodling a 0.5 goal handicap by virtue of their supposed lower divisional status. Aiyo.

2-0: Any nerves were firmly but to bed when Ubai decides to bend-it-like-bai with a stupendous inswinging cross from the left that had goal written all over it. As scripted, Izwann rose high above his marker and in slow motion fashion thumped a header from 6 yards into the back of the net. 55th minute and the pink rangers were producing a decent business like performance. 

3-0: Frustrated but not flustered with his few sightings on the opposing goal, our nepalese monster got in on the act as he showcased his new found outside foot shot once again. For those who didnt know, it was similar to the one that hit the bar against Classique in the semis n Law subsequently went on to thump it home. Well this time it found all net and it was even further out from the last one. Oh so brilliant. 

So as it is, everyone got themselves a fair share of game time and a nice little afternoon's session of footie. Aside from the missed one on ones and the missing Mikasa ball (FUCK), it was a sweet little day for them Jokers.

Onwards to next Saturday yo!


Saturday, January 12, 2013

Same O' Same Old


Springfield Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS 2  Eclectico 2

(Law, Mahdi)

No report. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Season 11 League Game 1




Time: Be there latest by 2:30 PM [Keep up the punctuality lads]

Opponents: Eclectico FC
Venue: Springfield Sec (Astro)

Attire: Pink Top, Black Shorts, Black Socks

Expected Personnel:
Edmund

Eric Farhan Ashwin(T)Khai Hafiz Eugene 

Hafeez Fiq Ws

Ron AhCool Ubai Nigel Law

Mahdi Shija(T) 

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Of Cockroaches, Monsters and Quite Simply Just An Epic Team Effort


*All in a days work

1st Toa Payoh Sec, 1500 Hrs

YSOSRS FC 5   Classique Futbol Clube 3

(AhCool x1, Law x1, Izwann x3) 

Gathering at the 1st Toa Payoh pitch again for the 3rd week running (getting sick of the place yo), the pinkies were geared up and ready for a semi final match up against a reputable side in Classique. Possessing players with experience at the NFL level and higher, the pinkies were up against it. Yet on a day which much went our way, the hot as hell weather, the lack of numbers for our opponents and our huge squad for the day meant that we held a slim advantage as the game kicked off. I have to add that the amazing sight of at least 12 of our lads getting prepped whilst having a light hearted talk cock session in the dressing room by 230pm made for a pleasant surprise. Oooh yeah.

To the game!

1-0: Hardly any time had passed when we nicked the opening goal. Yours truly was busy at the side being the ball man by pumping the friggin balls and thus all I saw was AhCool seeing a bounce in the opposing penalty box fall his way. Time and men around him stood still as he steadied himself, before calmly slotting it home under the keepers despairing dive. Weird circumstances leading up to the goal for everyone seemingly stopped. 

1-1: A ball over the top by Classique caught our tiring defense out and a clumsy challenge meant a penalty was awarded. This was duly dispatched.

1-2: Continuing our increasingly lacklustre performance at this stage, our midfield parted allowing for the Classique dazzlers to dance their way and beat our offside trap with consummate ease. Whim bam boom. And all of a sudden we were down despite looking comfortable for most parts of the half. HT.

As usual, the talk to the band of brothers was to be smarter with our play in the hope that we would wear our opponents down as time ticked.

1-3: Yet that advise was not entirely heeded for we conceded yet another penalty when a lunge was committed and the Classique man went over. A quite delightfully deceptive PK was carried out by the former pro (?) and apparent footie freestylist (Thats what I heard). We looked to be heading out at this point with our tails between our legs yo as 15 minutes or so of the game remained.

The defining moment soon came when upon changing to a 3-5-2 formation, we were caught on the counter and only a epic late block by man mountain at the back, Hafiz saw us keep it at 1-3.



2-3: Bend-it-like-ubai swung a peach of a corner that was met powerfully by the head of our returning cockroach. The ball nestled in the back of the net to the delight of the pinkies. Morale boost beeches...

3-3: 2 minutes later, it was all square. An audacious, outrageous outside foot shot by the Nepalese monster saw it tipped acrobatically against the bar by the cute afro keeper. The rebound was pounced on by our now I-will-score-every-game Law who left footed it, then right footed it and then right footed it into the back of the net. That sequence had my balls drop to the ground and back where to where it belongs. Worry not ladies. ;) 



4-3: As we went from strength to strength, cockroach man finally got the ball from our Nepalese monster after a million cries for it. He beat 2 men with his maddening pace before slamming the ball into the top corner with only minutes to go. Cue chicken dance celebrations from the cockroach. A weird sight for those who do not know. 

5-3: We have to talk about yet another epic sliding block challenge from AhCool that kept out a certain goal from Classique as only minutes remained. 4-4 that would have been as penalty shootouts loomed. A game breaking moment most certainly. And.... 
Up we went the other side when our own magician dazzled by a challenge before taking out another man with a simple through pass to our Nepalese monster. The eventual shot was well parried but on hand to bring home his turkey for the day was... Our cockroach man to tap it home and seal an epic clash. 

All in all, a brilliant game for us but it was so finely poised that it could have been so very different. Luck and team spirit played a huge part today. Couldn't be any more proud of my charges as the kickoff to our season is almost upon us.

Onwards to the finals!!



Team:
Khai

Farhan Eric Ismail Hafiz Isk Eugene

Ws Syafiq Hafeez

Izwann AhCool Ubai Mok Law Santosh

Dinie Habib

Thursday, January 3, 2013

EspZen Community Plate Semi Finals


Time: Be there latest by 2:30 PM

Opponents: Classique Futbol Clube
Venue: 1st Toa Payoh Sec (Astro)

Attire: Pink Top, Black Shorts, Black Socks

Expected Personnel:
Khai

Eric Farhan Isk Ismail Hafiz Eugene 

Hafeez Fiq Ws

Izwann AhCool Mok Ubai Law

Habib Dinie

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